I hate all of you fucking pretentious, dirty, smelly, ugly liberals that populate such a God-forsaken hell hole. You go around thumbing your nose at any and everything that is not exactly like you or doesn't fit perfectly into the way your shriveled little brain works. Your flannel shirts can fuck off. Your 501's suck. Your motherfucking goddamn teva's are DISGUSTING and even you know that Birkenstocks are just flatout wrong. The majority of women are seriously fucked up in the head (headcase, psycho bitch) and would not think twice about fucking your best friend and then telling you about it, just because you kept her goddamn (insert any object here) for too long. And I've never in my life seen such a pathetic bunch of whiny, pessimistic, obnoxious-for-no-reason, DELUDED, closeted males. Seattleites hate everything, including other Seattleites and especially non-natives. It's because they all have rain brain. Gee, do you think it can rain for ANOTHER day in a row? Anyone seen Noah?
Tourist: Hi, how are you?
Seattleites: (in their cheesiest, fakest tone possibe, aka just acting normal) ..oh, hi!
Tourist: Beautiful city you have here.
Seattleites: (looking tourist over like he/she is a giant piece of shit) Do I know you? (passive-aggressively walks away to go home and cry for 10 hours)
Tourist: Ok, well go ahead and walk off now, lib. Oh, hey, C U Next Tuesday! C'mon lets get the fuck out of this God-forsaken hell hole. And Lord! please!! ENOUGH WITH THE MOTHER-FUCKING RAIN!!!!