Northerners are unfortunate folk. Poorly educated with a chip on their shoulder so large they
often walk with a slight
enjoy weekly pilgrimages to the holy place they
call 'Netto' the only known place
whereby the carrier bags cost more than the products. Whilst there, they
their budgeting skills, often having
to choose between powdered milk for one of their many offspring
or cigarettes. You can identify a northerner by their apparel, firmly stuck in the 80's shell
suits remain in fashion and fake tan sells so quickly the select few who completed their education, cannot replenish the shelves fast enough, it has been
said that some northern girls have taken to using
In conclusion, northerners should be kept in caged
enclosures, and remain incarcerated
fully grasp the English language.
Dave: Hey mate, I've just moved from
Leeds, looking for some
work in the capital.
James: You're a Northerner?
Dave: Erm... yes... *sighs*
James: You know where the door is.