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49 definitions by FlowersInMidgar2

 
1.
Fanfiction supposedly written by a one, Terra Gillespie. Though many theorize that this work and it's author are entirely satire.

If it is satire, it is on an Andy Kaufman level of genius.

The story stars Terra as Ebony Dark'Ness Dementia Raven Way. A self described goff (spelling Goth with oddly situational Cockney phonetics) vampire (with straight teeth) who loves Hot Topic and hates herself some "prepz" (A word I never heard anyone, outside of a high school, speak with any sincerity short of A.C. Slater from Saved by the Bell.

The story features many unique and unfortunate points of interest.

1. Virtually every chapter starts with the author yelling and swearing at the reader base. Threatening to stop writing if at least five good reviews aren't posted. Essentially holding crap for hostage.

2. Character names are apparently suggestions. Each character, including her own, is systematically misspelled in a way that puts the greatest telemarketers to shame. Watching her try to spell "McGonagall" is sad, like watching a limbless man in a three legged race.

3. Harry Potter is now a vampire and, in a veritable orgy of creativity, refers to himself as "Vampire".

4. Dumbledore swears like a sailor. Dropping more f-bombs than a Dennis Leary standup set.

5. Voldemort gives Ebony a gun at one point to kill Vampire Potter, and speaks in Ye' Olde Rene Faire Englishe.

6. Ebony is in a gothic metal band called "Bloody Gothic Rose 666". Apparently they sound like a mix of between Good Charlette, Slipknot, My Chemical Romance and really bad idea.
other members are B'loody Mary (her jack off friend), Vampire, Draco, Ron (aka Diabolo) and motherfucking HAGRID (on washboard bass).

7. Apparently the dress code of Hogwarts has been replaced with a giant, magic Hot Topic that Good Charlotte routinely plays concerts at. I also hear Fred and George are now running the Hogsmeade Mall's Spender Gifts selling magic animated porn postcards, tin ankh/pentagram/potleaf jewelry and, fart based boardgames.

8. Many of the 45 chapters are dedicated, almost entirely, to the vampiric clown outfits she swathes herself in.

9. Even though she HATES "prepz" (a term that no one uses outside of high school) all of her favorite bands are ironically NOT Goth. Good Charlotte and My Chemical Romance are pop groups.

10. "I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was, because he's a major fucking hottie."
...Think about that last line...why would you want to be related to someone you thought was sexy!?!?
My Immortal is either the single greatest work of viral satire since Chad Warden Or, the single greatest strike against public school systems to date.
po FlowersInMidgar2 Јул 16, 2009
 
2.
An extreme fan or follower of a particular medium or concept, whether it be sports, television, film directors, video games (the most common usage), etc.

Known for a complete lack of objectivity in relation to their preferred focus. Usually argue with circular logic that they refuse to acknowledge. Arguments or debates with such are usually futile. Every flaw is spun into semi-virtues and everything else, blown to comedic, complimentary proportions.

Known for using the phrase
"Object of affection = Best Ever"
However, while people only really say that as hyperbole, fanboys truly believe it.

Troll the internet to spread the gospel.

Insult/chastise others for using public forums to express an objective opinion, no matter how constructive or, respectful it may be. (Go ahead and admit that it's a good game/movie/etc. This fact and anything else will be promptly ignored in favor of cherry picking the negative, and beating you over the head with it.

Tend to resort to petty annoyance replies when backed against the wall. Usually grammar attacks and non-replies.
"Final Fantasy VII is the best RPG ever!"
"Ocarina of Time is the best game ever!"
"Linux is the best OS ever!"
"Xbox is the best console ever!"
"Dragonball Z is the best show ever!"

The sad thing is, fanboys don't realize, that these companies that fuel their passion, don't really give a damn about us. To me, defending a multi-national corporation like their your own family, is ridiculous. These organizations don't come to your house and help you when you're sick, they don't help you move, or drive you to the airport. They don't support you in any way. It's a business, not a friendship. As soon as you can no longer buy their product, you disappear to them.
po FlowersInMidgar2 Јул 10, 2008
 
3.
Reverse Fanboys.
Anime haters are the equally annoying opposite of anime fankids.
Deluded into thinking they are normal, well adjusted people devoid of flaws.

Consider it their duty and right to belittle others under some ridiculous notion of normality. Like these people are suddenly saints. But, they only decide to crusade against people who like Japanese cartoons. Yeah let's not worry about Darfur, or war or terrorists, or bigots or child abuse, yeah you take those cartoon watchers down a fuckin' peg. You paragons of social interaction.

These equally obsessed fools can be seen online blathering about how normal they are and how much of a life they have, simply because they aren't hardcore into anime. They are however, hardcore into trolling the internets looking for fights. Which is totally what well adjusted social dynamos are famous for.

Are known for using stereotypical extremes to justify being douchebags. Judging anime (not movies or magazines) by the worst examples and ignoring the rest (just like fanboys do!)
Lump all anime fans into an convenient to despise group of perverts because it's easy.

Think that spending all their time looking for obsessed people to make fun of isn't at all hypocritical.

Think that being obsessed about Japanese cartoons is a serious issue, despite all the horrible things going on in the world. These idiots think anime viewing is bad. Signs that these "normal" people really have little worries or priorities. Normal people however, have bigger problems. Nobody gives a shit but you haters. The rest of us don't give a crap about what cartoons someone watches. People with lives, girlfriends and jobs who get out of the house wouldn't have time to give a shit.

The only people that give a rat's ass about anime fankids are people who spend all day online or lame ass teens who hate whatever is trendy to hate.

Let's not kid ourselves, anime haters don't give a shit about being normal. They are petty assholes who need to pick on people and anime hating is easy and popular. If these people were as normal as they say they'd be offline living their fabulous lives rather than being online ensuring everyone that they have them.
So let me get this straight, that guy dressed as a cartoon character laughing with his friends makes you so angry that you felt the need to call him a fag? Where on Earth is that "normal"? What is this, junior high?
Why can't you just dislike anime? Why go that extra step and become anime haters? They're just as annoying.
po FlowersInMidgar2 Мај 17, 2008
 
4.
Santa Clause.
Easter Bunny.
Good Customer Service from nexon.
A funny Family Circus cartoon.
Bisexual, Vampire Teen Wizards.

What do these things have in common?

None of them are real. They're all imaginary.

I will explain Nexon's approach to customer service in one sentence and then some more sentences after:
"We have your money, fuck you, we have your money."

Example:

You forgot your password.
You click the link "recover PW" under log in.
You are NOT sent your password. You have your real password reset. You are then sent a temporary password to log in with.

Your only option to check your account info is a reset password option. There is no info on your account for you to review. NOTHING.

When you attempt to change your password to a new one, you'll find that your temporary PW doesn't count toward changing it.

Thus, they've completely blocked you from ever logging back in on that account, as even if you remember your old PW somehow, it's now been reset to a random string of letters and numbers.

So basically, you need to remember your PW to recover your forgotten PW.

To use their customer service to open a ticket, you'll need to log in.

The ticket must consist of your two security questions, the second of which, ISN'T TOLD TO YOU.

Not only that but Nexon has been known to change your security questions without notice!
So if you forgot that question, you can open a separate ticket to recover THAT!

Oh yeah, you can only have one ticket open at a time. It may also takes literally months to get a response.
If you somehow miss the notice of this fact, ALL of your tickets will be deleted.

If your email changes.
...You're fucked. Because they ONLY send your info to your original email. If it was closed for any reason. You're fucked.
Why bother helping you when they can just wait for you to make a new account and spend more money starting over?

If you are a friend of a GM you WILL be allowed to cheat and hack the game without punishment. This has been proven countless times.

One player actually sent a report about themselves hacking and was given a canned response thanking the player for the report. Proving Nexon isn't paying attention, nor do they give a rat's ass.

Nexon is now infamous for having THE worst customer service of all time. Maple Story is the third highest grossing MMORPG (making 100-500 million dollars annually) in the world and despite this, their security, forum/website, staff and policies are not only unprofessional, they are underhanded, deceitful, spiteful and shamelessly evil.
Like military intelligence, "acting naturally", jumbo shrimp and Microsoft Works -Nexon Customer Service is an oxymoron.
po FlowersInMidgar2 Јул 16, 2009
 
5.
A chat room for racist, homophobic shit licking chicken-shits, pussies and morons.

With some videos attached.

A great source of footage of just about everything you can imagine. Comment system is buggy at best. Copyright rules seem to be the only rules truly enforced. Reporting feature is a joke that can result in an email stating that your claim won't even be read because you MAY have clicked 'send' more than once. Finding out how to report a person is nigh impossible as well. You tube doesn't give a shit.

The place where terrorists can post videos of executions, a moron can tell <insert sub culture/race> that they should all die...
BUT, a video featuring a baby dancing to a Prince song gets pulled. It's all about the $$$ at youtube.

Youtube's policies are enforced strictly on what can make them the most money. Trolls and terrorists get the most hits, so Youtube's staff ignores them.
Example Youtube Video (a Mother cradling her newborn just after birth)
Comments:

Idiot1: I'd fuk that bich!11!
Idiot2: You ugly cunt u babby is ugly to u bich cunt fag!
Idiot3: Bet that pussy is nice n bloody fap fap fap
Idiot4: I LMAO
Idiot5: cancer cancer penis fag nigger jew furfag emo penis penis faggity aids fag fag nigger fuck!!!

(Ages:)

Idiot1: 14
Idiot2: 15
Idiot3: 17
Idiot4: 13
Idiot5: 27
po FlowersInMidgar2 Мај 17, 2009
 
6.
Opposite of the Anime Fanboy. Just as annoying. The other side of the same douchy coin.

Someone who dislikes anime (and more often and importantly, it's fans) to such to a point that "hater" is applied. This usually implies a dislike for something no matter what. Without exception.

Just as anime fankids go on and on about how testicle tickling anime is and why Jesus would have loved it. Anime haters go on and on about why tentacle porn and Dragonball Z with bring about Armageddon and how they totally hate obsessed people that aren't the obsessed people obsessed over the obsessed people obsessed with anime.

More often than not spend a tremendous amount of time online picking fights with anime fans. Then, referring to them as obsessive and/or defensive or, overly sensitive when they fight back. They tend to move beyond the state of simply disliking the format and into a state where they are more concerned with confronting anime fans with said dislike to the point of obsession. It's not enough to not watch anime, the anime. They need to belittle those that do.
Usually resort to petty annoyance tactics and trolling when confronted by an intelligent response or counter argument.

Invariably resort to the same tired set of tactics, responses and examples such as cosplay, tentacle porn and Dragonball Z. As if cherry picking the worst examples is somehow a good way to gauge a whole style of art (not including sub-genres).

You can dislike anime all you want and be a normal person who simply doesn't dig anime. It takes a certain kind of asshole to be considered an anime hater though.
If an anime hater held every format of entertainment by the inconceivable scrutiny they hold anime to, in terms of judging said format by the least of it's peers, these poor people wouldn't do anything at all.
po FlowersInMidgar2 Мај 17, 2008
 
7.
(This commentary is written from the view of someone who technically qualifies as a Hardcore Gamer but, absolutely hates the majority of his peers. If you happen to be an HC gamer, that still manages to NOT look down on all those who don't conform to your style or that you are NOT somehow owed something from your hobby, than this does not apply to you. Not all HCG's are like this. The below is however, how the vocal majority wish to be seen. This is for them, and the bad name they give us all.)

Hardcore Gamer:

A very vocal, arrogant minority of gamers that assume that the gaming industry revolves (or should revolve) around them.

Consider their own skills, and preferences and, those of their peers, to be the only acceptable use of a recreational medium.

Often use the term "True Gamer". An arrogant, idiotic term invented by insecure people to justify their own gaming style.

The irony is, the gaming industry was born from the notion, that these are games, pinball dating back as far as the 40's was designed for people to relax and enjoy.
Pong brought it home, followed by other game systems that were designed for fun and recreation.

However, like all hobbies, there will always be those "stop having fun guys" that ruin it for everyone else.
People who feel that the industry belongs to them.
People who fail to realize that there will always be a place for them but really just want it all. If casual players get their way the whole industry will collapse and the world will end.
People who adopted the medium as their own and decided that they were the only ones worthy.

Refuse to accept that, like board games, video games are made to be enjoyed. They aren't made for you to feel good about yourself. there are hardcore boardgamers out there too and, they also miss the point.

Hardcore gamers are no less ridiculous than a "pin the tail on the donkey" elitist, who shows up to a birthday party with their own pins and blindfold, won't shut up about you're "spinning all wrong" then looks shocked, as to why the rest of the guests find them socially repulsive.

Hardcore gamers are generally cliquish, rude, snide and belligerent.
When they aren't attacking casuals, they're attacking each other for the dumbest shit.

"Yeah you beat that boss but, I did it without using half my abilities, blindfolded, with no healing items, on hardcore extreme killer blood-hell mode!"
Don't sell yourself short kid, you also did it with your head up your ass.

This comes from a culture where sarcasm is way more important than ideas.

To be hardcore, a game pretty much needs to be "difficult".
That's all hardcore games really are. Tedious and long, and dragged out and hard.
Because the life of a hardcore gamer generally isn't very taxing, they can turn to games to "challenge" them.

Often times they'll wax on about how casual gamers are gradually killing the market, while ignoring the fact that the market has always had room for both players and, that some people have a life to kick their ass. That, when they sit down to play a video game, it's not so damn important that a player needs to turn it into some perfectionist job you don't get payed for.

That maybe, a person who doesn't piss 90% of their paycheck on games also deserves to enjoy a game.

Me? I qualify as a hardcore gamer, but I hate the term. I'm ashamed of HC gamers and how awful they make gamers look. How ignorant they are. How arrogant and myopic. How they taunt and belittle people simply for failing to take a fucking game too seriously.

Hardcore gamers want the entire medium of electronic games for themselves. They don't care about anyone else. They're selfish, ignorant tools who want to stay in the basement, never getting laid.

There is a big difference, between wanting a challenge and, demanding everyone should. See past your own god damn skills for once in your lives. Learn to accept that not everyone can sit in front of a monitor for hours mastering a game.
If you need to insult a person's gaming preference, you're the one that needs to stop playing.
Hardcore gamers want games to be hard for the sake of compensating for an empty, easy life. They have nothing else to be proud of so they look to gaming for some shred of pride.
If only they displayed that pride with some manner of grace and civility.
po FlowersInMidgar2 Април 17, 2009